As parents, we tend to worry about raising our child “correctly,” we want to fix everything our child is not doing well, and we fear the potential pitfalls and rebellion that adolescence brings. In fact, we can become so focused on all the challenges that parenting presents, we can forget to simply enjoy our evolving relationship with our child. It’s important that we actively appreciate the positive aspects of adolescence, such as our child’s growing independence, enthusiasm, and unique perspectives, and cherish the moments we have with them as they mature.

You may be thinking, ‘how can I enjoy my teen when they are moody, impulsive, rebellious, withdrawn, or is constantly making poor decisions?’ No doubt, parenting teenagers is stressful and challenging, but if you only focus on these negatives, you will miss out on some very cool aspects of spending time with your teen. You will have a lifetime relationship with your child, so don’t let our culture’s stereotypes of teenagers rob you of the joys involved in getting to know the unique person you are raising.

Some of the wonderful aspects of having teenagers around are:

• Developing personality. Adolescence is the time where our children’s identities begin to truly take shape. Inevitably our children never become exactly who we thought, so it’s exciting to see their values, traits, behaviors, and strengths emerge.
• Interesting opinions. We can finally have meaningful conversations with our children! Teens are curious and open to exploring new ideas. They are interested in all sorts of perspectives. You will be surprised to hear their answers to your questions!
• More self-sufficient. There is more freedom in your own life when your children are teens. Gone are the days where you can’t leave the house without a child and their necessary equipment in tow. Plus, teens can be quite helpful around the house, are able to advocate for themselves at school, and can manage their own lives fairly well.
• Increased creativity. Teens have outstanding imaginations and are often able to think outside the box. They can often surprise us with their unusual ideas, projects, or interests!
• More passion. Thanks to their youth, most teens are less cynical about the world and more enthusiastic about life. They are often ready to jump all in on projects that feel important to them.
• Willing to take risks. While teen risk-taking has gotten a bad rap for getting teens into trouble, this characteristic also means teens are interested in trying new things and won’t necessarily shy away from a challenge.
• Love to laugh. Teens are funny!  They love to joke around, and it can be incredibly entertaining to discover aspects of your child’s sense of humor.
• Stay current. Adolescents are very plugged in to culture, so they can keep you up-to-date on technology, pop culture, fashion, or any number of modern trends.
• More enjoyable entertainment. Teenagers are mature enough to watch the tv shows and play the games that you actually like! You can finally share some of your own favorite movies or activities.

Final Thoughts…

Teenagers are bound to makes mistakes and some bad choices, but we don’t have to define them by these negatives. Open your eyes to see all that they are and enjoy the things that are interesting or fun! Share your interests, discuss politics or topics outside of your relationship and really get to know your teen. While your teen is inevitably going to frustrate you at points, that doesn’t have to be the entirety of your relationship. Focus on what is positive about them and between you.