Summer break can be filled with new opportunities and lots of fun for many families. But summer also can exaggerate irritations that parents and teens have with one another as they spend more time together. Don’t let these problems ruin the whole break! Here are some of the most common complaints parents have about teens over the summer and some possible solutions:

Unemployed

Many parents feel that summer is the perfect opportunity for their teen to take on a part-time job. They want them to earn their own money, be engaged in constructive activity, and learn responsibility and workplace skills. However, many teens do not want to find a job for a variety of reasons.

Solution: If your teen doesn’t want to get a job, try to determine the reason. If they simply are anxious about how to get and/or keep a job, please review our previous blog, “How Teens Can Get that First Job” to learn how you can teach your teen the skills they need to be able to work. If there is an obstacle in their way, such as lack of transportation, brainstorm possible solutions with them. If they are just unmotivated and would rather sleep or play video games, then make sure you don’t give your teen all the privileges he/she wants over the summer, such as paying for trips to the movies, eating out, buying clothes, or anything else that your teen wants. Your teen will become more motivated to earn money if they don’t get to do the things they want otherwise.

Sleepy

With less commitments during the summer, teens love to sleep in late! Adolescents still need 9 to 10 hours of sleep each night, but they also want to stay up late to do fun things during the summer, which can mean sleeping most of the morning away.

Solution: Allow your teen the joy of being able to sleep in later than a school day, but set a limit on how late that is. Create a rule that everyone in the house needs to be out of bed by a certain time. If your teen won’t get out of bed, make sure you have consequences in place. But, also be flexible on days where your teen stayed out late for a special occasion.

Unhelpful

Getting teens to perform chores is an ongoing battle for most families. Teens often forget their domestic responsibilities because chores are simply not a priority for them. This is normal, but parents still can’t allow them to slide without any contributions to the family.

Solution: Chores are a great way for teens to develop a good work ethic and behave responsibly. Meet with your teen and come to an agreement on which chores they need to do, a deadline for doing the chores, and a consequence for not getting the chores done. Be specific. If your teen does not meet the deadline, you must follow through with the consequence that you both agreed to. When not getting chores done starts to get in the way of their priorities (hanging out with friends, spending time on technology, etc.), they will become more motivated to complete them.

Withdrawn

Many parents feel hurt by their teen’s lack of excitement to spend family time together. However, as teens grow, spending more time with peers becomes an important part of their normal development. Teens also like to try new activities that might not appeal to the rest of the family and/or explore their independence. Try not to take this normal part of development personally.

Solution: You may have to insist that your teen spend some time with the rest of the family, but that doesn’t mean that it has be miserable. Instead, call a family meeting at the beginning of the summer and brainstorm ideas for family activities. They could be as simple as roasting marshmallows or as elaborate as taking a big family vacation. Once you have a large list, prioritize the list in order of importance, so that the activities that everyone is most interested in are at the top of the list. When your teen has had input into the activities, you may find them to be a more enjoyable and enthusiastic participant.

Risky

One thing all parents should know about summer is that it can be a risky time. Teens who are bored, have a lot of downtime, or have less supervision run a higher risk of falling into the wrong pastimes, such as substance abuse or crime.

Solution: Parents should consider getting their teen involved with local youth programs, sports programs, summer camps, academic enrichment, internships, fun classes, volunteer opportunities, or a part-time job. Finding the right balance between resting and boredom is not easy, but it’s worth the effort so that teens can have fun and avoid risks.