At a time when many have made New Year’s Resolutions to lose weight, it might seem odd to be promoting weight gain, but pediatricians say it’s an important message for parents of adolescents.

American culture clearly values small bodies and weight loss. We are bombarded with unhealthy messages about body image. And at the same time, we have heard there is an epidemic of obesity which can cause a host of health problems. As a result, many parents are very focused on their children’s weight. Who can blame them when the media is constantly discussing disordered eating, debating healthy body weights, and glorifying thinness? Many parents are concerned about their child’s weight and debate the best way to discuss health with them.

Ironically, research is showing that parents keep their children healthiest when they say absolutely nothing about their child’s weight or how their body changes shape during puberty.

Facts About Weight Gain in Adolescence

Other than the first year of life, humans experience the most growth during adolescence. On average, most teenagers double their weight in a 4-year period. Boys gain 12 inches in height and approximately 50-60 pounds between age 12 and 16. Girls gain 10 inches in height and 40-50 pounds between age 10 and 14. However, that growth process is anything but smooth. In fact, most children will gain a large amount of weight in order to fuel a later growth spurt in height, so there is a back and forth in teens gaining weight and then thinning out as they gain height. It’s perfectly natural for a teen’s body shape to change significantly during puberty from chubby to awkwardly gangly and all versions in between.

Shifting Medical Guidelines

Originally, the American Academy of Pediatrics developed guidelines for pediatricians to discuss weight with children in an effort to combat childhood obesity. Unfortunately, they have since discovered that many children misunderstood their pediatricians’ discussions about weight, internalizing incorrect information and turning to disordered eating. The psychological impact of being told their body was “wrong,” or in some way problematic, may be more damaging to a child than the physical health risks of obesity. As a result, last year, the Academy released a revised set of guidelines for pediatricians that recommends that they not discuss dieting or weight, but instead focus on health-promoting behaviors. They specifically warn against teen dieting.

What Parents Can Do

With this new research and the revised medical guidelines, it’s best if parents do not discuss weight with their children. This advice can be hard to follow if a parent is truly concerned about their teen’s health. Here are some actions that parents can take to encourage good health, both physical and mental, in their children:

• Be aware of the effects of negative body talk around your child. Work on learning to respect your body and modelling a healthy acceptance of your own body shape and size. Don’t complain about body parts you are dissatisfied or unhappy with in front of your child. Don’t make negative or positive comments about your child’s appearance. Even seemingly friendly nicknames can be harmful to a child’s self-esteem.
• Accept that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and do not judge others by their looks. If you can avoid placing too much value on physical appearance, then your child will too. Instead, place value on all the different aspects that make up an individual, such as personality, skills, talents, interests, and outlook on life. Celebrate these aspects of your child.
• Do not discuss your child’s weight with others, including their pediatrician. In fact, if you have health concerns about your child’s weight, schedule an appointment with your child’s doctor to discuss weight before bringing your child for a visit. When your child is with you for a doctor’s appointment, print out a small card to hand to the nurse and physician that states you do not want them to comment directly about your child’s weight.
• Be critical of societal messages and images (social media, television, advertising) that promote body or appearance ideals, such as thinness or muscularity. Encourage your child to question and challenge society’s narrow ideals of beauty or attractiveness. Expose them to stories and images of people you perceive are healthy role models, no matter the size of their body.
• Try to avoid labelling foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and offer a wide range of foods in your home. Assigning moral value to foods can create an unhealthy relationship with food and can create feelings of guilt or shame associated with eating certain foods. Instead, focus on the nourishment that food provides and the fuel it offers our bodies. Additionally, encourage teens to listen to the signals their body is sending them, such as eating until they feel full versus eating until all the food is consumed.
• Avoid talking about diets, engaging in dieting, or encouraging your child to diet, regardless of body size, shape or weight. Dieting is dangerous, increases the chances for developing an eating disorder, and is generally ineffective, since studies show that the majority of people who diet gain more weight once the diet is over.
• Engage your entire family in regular activities that involve physical movement – for example, going for a walk or bicycle ride, dancing, gardening, or playing backyard games. Do not use changing body size as a reason for exercise, but emphasize fitness, health, social interaction and enjoyment as the motivations for physical activity.
• If your teen expresses concerns about their appearance, body size and shape, listen calmly without judgment. Reassure them that their physical changes are normal and that everyone develops at different times and rates. Make sure your child understands the changes they will undergo during puberty, and that weight gain is a healthy and normal part of development.