What your teen sees when they look in the mirror can impact their mental and physical health, including how active they are and their risk for an eating disorder. According to the National Institutes of Health nearly half of children and teens have body image issues. And it’s no wonder since our society has an image-driven culture that focuses on unrealistic standards of beauty for people of all genders, ages, and ethnicities.

As a parent, helping your children develop a positive body image is a crucial element in their likelihood of becoming healthy, well-rounded adults. Here are some ways you can help your children feel good about their body:

Be Careful What You Say

It’s important that we think about the messages we are conveying to our children. For example:

• Communicate that our outside appearance is the least interesting thing about us. When talking about others, avoid making comments or putting emphasis on their body, shape, or size. Instead, notice things about their personality, talents, interests, or outlook on life. We are so much more than our body, so do not define others (or your child) by the way they look.
• If someone loses weight, instead of commenting on how they look, compliment their hard work or their dedication to improving their health.
• Identify what our bodies do for us. Notice the abilities, skills, talents, and tasks our bodies allow us to accomplish.
• Avoid any direct or subtle messages about having to “earn” food. For example, we do not need to exercise to deserve a snack.
• Never use nicknames or jokes based on a person’s physical characteristics.

Be a Good Role Model

Children tend to mimic the behaviors and actions of the adults around them and generally follow our examples of how we treat ourselves and others. So, if you are trying to instill a healthy body image, it is important that you are being a role model of acceptance of self and others. Watch how you talk about your own body. Avoid making common subtle, negative comments about your body, such as how your body does not fit your clothes, complaining about a body part you don’t like, or not wanting to be in photographs. If you talk about having huge thighs, your latest weight-loss diet or your punishing workouts, your children will pick up on these negative messages. They will begin to worry about the size of their thighs or think they should be dieting. Instead, state positive things about yourself and acknowledge that your imperfections are fine. Role model a well-balanced diet by eating three meals a day with healthy food options and do not punish yourself for eating something considered unhealthy.

Discuss Social Media

Social media, movies, TV shows, magazines and advertisements often send the message that only a certain body type or skin color is acceptable and that maintaining an attractive appearance is the most important goal. Combat this by telling your children that there is no “perfect” body, and that all bodies are different and unique. Expose your children to stories and images of people you perceive are healthy role models, no matter what their body looks like. Additionally, discuss filters and photoshopping to explain that what they are seeing online may not be realistic.

Address Puberty

Make sure your child understands the changes they will undergo during puberty, and that weight gain is a healthy and normal part of development. Other than the first year of life, humans experience the most growth during adolescence. On average, most teenagers double their weight in a 4-year period; however, that growth process is anything but smooth. In fact, most children will gain a large amount of weight in order to fuel a later growth spurt in height, so there is a back and forth in teens gaining weight and then thinning out as they get taller. It’s perfectly natural for a teen’s body shape to change significantly during puberty from chubby to awkwardly gangly and all versions in between.

Change Attitudes Towards Physical Activity

Instead of focusing on exercise as a way to lose weight or maintain a certain body shape, have your children consider the other ways that being active can be a positive contribution to their lives. For example, physical activity helps your body feel better, improves mood, can act as a social activity, reduces stress, and can be a lot of fun! Try exposing your children to many different ways of being active. Some kids may be interested in sports like soccer or basketball, but other kids might like individual activities, such as walking and cycling, or they might like a niche activity, such as yoga, karate, or archery. It really doesn’t matter what children do for physical fitness, it just matters that they do something! If your child states that they can’t pursue an activity because of their size, show them how professional athletes come in all different sizes and shapes.

Develop A Healthy Relationship with Food

Role model eating a healthy, balanced diet. Offer a wide range of foods, and promote healthy eating by emphasizing how the nutrients in foods help people become strong and healthy. Instead of focusing on calories, explain how the vitamins in an orange help their gums, or how nuts are good for their brain. Avoid labeling foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ These labels create anxiety around food and may lead to poor behaviors including food restriction and feeling like a bad person because they’ve eaten a “bad” food. Additionally, encourage children to listen to their body’s signals, eating until full versus eating until all food is consumed.

Celebrate Your Child’s Non-Physical Attributes

Instead of focusing on body positivity, appearance, or weight, build your child’s self-confidence and self-esteem in other ways by talking about how kind they are or how hard they work. While kids need to learn to love and appreciate their bodies, try to keep the focus on what their body does for them instead of what it looks like. Practice stating what positive attributes they have and what they are capable of doing or becoming.

Final Thoughts…

Teaching your children body positivity and healthy habits around food and physical activity will have a lasting impact on their self-esteem, self-perception and how they interact with an image-driven culture.