Whether you love it or hate it, technology is an integral part of teens’ lives. The Internet, social media, AI, and texting offer wonderful ways to connect, obtain and share information, stream entertainment, and learn. But, they also expose our children to a lot of risk. Since our children are digital natives, it’s important that we teach them how to avoid, or at least minimize, the risks they might encounter. Here are our top tips for keeping teens safe online:

Create safety guidelines together.

All children, and especially teens, should be aware of the risks in using online tools. Once you tell them the risks and/or your concerns, ask them to work together with you to set up age-appropriate guardrails to keep them safe. For example, good rules could include not sharing identifiable information online, avoiding certain apps, and coming to you with anything confusing or concerning. Find out what apps, platforms, social media, chatbots, and other online tools your teen is most often using and become familiar with them to better understand their content and set up security features. 

Teach children to never share personal information.

Most kids have been told to never share personal information online, but to them that means their address and phone number. Many children are quite willing to share their real name, age, school name and location, parents’ work places, friends’ names, birthdays, etc. because they don’t understand that even these small details could lead a potential predator, scammer, or cyberbully to them. Make sure you explain to your child all of the different types of personal information they should never post online. Additionally, it’s important that children’s screennames do not readily identify them.

Explain Catfishing.

“Catfishing” is when a person creates a fake online identity in order to deceive someone into a relationship. A ‘catfish’ uses someone else’s photo and invents a false name and personal information to create a fake online identity. People use catfishing to gain someone’s trust and convince the other person to give them money, send sexually explicit photos or videos, set up in-person meetings, or exact some sort of revenge by collecting humiliating information or encouraging terrible behavior.

Young people are so used to having online relationships that they don’t always notice red flags and don’t think to question someone’s true identity. It’s important teens understand that there is simply no way to know if someone who is nice online is who they say they are.  Just because someone says they are a 13-year-old girl in Idaho, they could just as easily be a 52-year-old man in New York. Advise your teen to never set up an in-person meeting with someone they meet online unless the meeting is in a public place with you or a group of friends. Advise them to never give anyone they meet online any money, personal information, or photos/videos of themselves. The moral is to never trust someone you meet online.

Develop critical thinking.

Develop your child’s critical thinking skills so they can also evaluate the validity of information they see online, the authenticity of people they interact with, and the safety of the apps they are using themselves. Critical thinking is a vital skill that will help them in a wide range of situations. To learn how to develop this important tool, read our previous blog, Teach Teens to Be Critical Thinkers.

Encourage children to tell an adult when they encounter a problem online.

Children need to know it’s safe to tell an adult when they come across any information that makes them uncomfortable. This may seem intuitive to an adult, but many times children feel uncertain if something they have seen or done is their fault. They need to know that an adult will not blame them or take away their computer and will work with them to help avoid problems in the future.

Encourage behavior to align both in-person and online.

We might never expect our well-behaved child to behave inappropriately, but people have a tendency to act very differently online than they do face-to-face. Let your teen know that, if they wouldn’t do something to someone’s face, they should also not do it online. Explain what constitutes cyberbullying and let them know you will not tolerate this type of behavior.

Help teens to “think before sharing.”

Teens are not skilled yet at being able to predict the consequences of their actions. Explain that sharing personal details, opinions, or photos online can create future problems. College admissions, future employers, law enforcement, and attorneys routinely search people online to determine their character. Once something is posted, it can always be found – years later. Even people you consider friends can use this info against you if they should ever become ex-friends.

Talk to your children about AI companions.

AI companion apps are designed to simulate social interactions and offer companionship, connection, and/or emotional support through AI-powered chatbots or virtual assistants. Ask what your teen knows about AI companions and if they have ever interacted with one. If they have, ask them what their experience has been like. If children feel they’re being criticized for their digital relationship they’ll likely become defensive and close down, so you might ask what they like about the interactions, or what interesting conversations they’ve had. If they haven’t interacted with a companion app, you might ask them whether they think they are a good idea or not. Help them understand the limitations of an AI relationship and discuss the differences between AI and human connection as discussed above.  

Actively strengthen real-world connections.

The best antidote to loneliness and too much engagement with technology is in-person connections. Do everything you can to encourage your teen to engage in social activities with friends, plan regular family time without devices (including your own!), pursue in-person activities (sports, classes, hobbies, etc.) and model healthy relationships you build in your own life. 

Keep communication open.

Monitor your reactions. Technologies may be worrisome, but if your child shares something with you, try to avoid immediate negative reactions as this could discourage them from talking to you about it in the future. Try to create a safe space where they can share concerns and you can work through solutions together.

Final Thoughts…

There is simply no way that parents can monitor everything their child does online. Therefore, it’s really important that you arm them with information so that they can act responsibly, but also that you create a safe space with open communication so that they feel they can come to you with concerns without fear of retribution.