Have you ever noticed that we are quicker to notice the negative than the positive? Your teen might be having a great day at school when a classmate makes an insulting comment. Even though their day was overall quite good, they tell you it was terrible because they are still stewing over that one negative incident. Or maybe your teen received three grades from tests at school. Two of them were A’s, but they can’t seem to stop complaining about the C. Scientists call this the negativity bias.

Unfortunately, this human tendency to pay more attention to the bad things than the good can really impact the quality of our life. This article will explain how we can overcome this tendency in order to improve our mental and physical health.

What is the negativity bias?

Negativity bias refers to our tendency to focus on, learn from, and use negative information far more than positive information. Through brain imaging, scientists have shown that our brains literally respond more strongly to negative stimuli than it does to positive. This bias can lead us to ruminate on small mistakes, worry over having made a bad impression, and dwell on negative comments.

As humans, we naturally tend to:

• Pay more attention to negative stimuli than positive.
• Remember traumatic experiences better than positive ones.
• Recall insults easier than praise.
• Learn more from negative experiences and outcomes.
• Make decisions based on negative information more than positive data.
• Think about negative things more frequently than positive ones.
• Respond more strongly to negative events than to equally positive ones.

Why do we have a negativity bias?

Earlier in human history, paying attention to bad, dangerous, and negative threats in the world was literally a matter of life and death. Humans that were more attuned to danger and who paid more attention to the bad things around them were more likely to survive. Our brains haven’t adjusted to the fact that the negativity bias no longer serves us in our current age. In fact, it decreases our wellbeing.

How does the negativity bias decrease our wellbeing?

• Mental health. Focusing on the negative can lead to low self-esteem and self-confidence, anxiety, and depression. It can also make it hard to maintain hope and/or a positive outlook on life. 
• Perception of others. The negativity bias often leads us to expect the worst in others. When forming impressions of others, we tend to focus more on negative information.
• Relationships. Placing greater weight on negative aspects of a relationship can harm our connection, lead to trust issues, and cause us to hold grudges.
• Decision making. Overemphasizing the negative can poorly impact the choices we make and the risks we are willing to take.
• Stress. Negativity bias can lead to chronic stress, which can upset your hormone balance, damage your immune system, and decrease your lifespan. 
• Anger. Focusing on the negative creates anger, frustration and resentment. Poorly managed or repressed anger is linked to a number of health conditions, including hypertension, cardiovascular disease, digestive disorders, and infection.

How can we overcome negativity bias?

Negativity might be our brain’s default setting, but we can override it with some fairly easy techniques. And, if you teach your teens these techniques, they will actually have an easier time of retraining their brain because of their youth. Encouraging your entire family to look for the positive in life could change the entire dynamic in your household for the better.

Look for the good. Your brain is a powerful search engine. If you are focusing on trying to find good things throughout your day, your brain will find them. Teach your children this principle by asking them in the morning to look for something good that happens at school and tell you about it when they get home.

Put it in perspective. We tend to focus on the negative even when it is insignificant or inconsequential. When you notice this happening, try to be mindful of what is and isn’t important in your life. It can be helpful to consider what your values are so that you know what is important to you.

Reframe the situation. How we talk to ourselves about events, experiences, and people plays a large role in shaping how we interpret events. When you find yourself focusing on the bad aspect of the situation, look for ways to reframe the events in a more positive light. This doesn’t mean ignoring the bad, but simply giving fair and equal weight to the good.

Name it to claim it. To retrain our brains, we must create habits that help us focus on the positive. Create a family routine at dinner or before bed in which each member of the family shares something that went well that day or that they are grateful for. Acknowledge and appreciate everyone’s positive experiences.

Identify positive qualities. Every individual has talents, gifts, and strengths. Point out these qualities in others, especially when someone uses them in creating positive interactions and events.

Replace negative thoughts with positive activities. When you find yourself ruminating on negative things, look for an uplifting activity. Instead of mentally reviewing some unpleasant event or outcome over and over, engage in an activity that brings you joy, such as going for a walk, reading a good book, or listening to upbeat music.

Savor positive moments. Since our brains don’t typically remember positive experiences, it is important to give extra attention to good things when they happen. We need to make an extra effort to transfer happy moments into our long-term memory. So when something great happens, replay the moment several times in your memory and focus on the wonderful feelings you are experiencing.

Final Thoughts…

We have a tendency to give more importance to negative experiences than to positive or neutral experiences, but being aware of it means that we can take steps to adopt a more positive outlook. By consciously choosing to bring more positivity to our awareness, we will reduce our stress and improve our overall sense of wellbeing. Role modeling this concept in our family can set our children up for better wellness throughout their lives.