Everyone feels lonely sometimes, but persistent loneliness is a real epidemic among this generation of youth. Teens today are struggling with depression, anxiety and loneliness at higher rates than any previous generation. Young people who have no coping skills for loneliness are more likely to make poor decisions in life. Teens who learn that loneliness is a temporary feeling, and find coping skills to manage it, will be more successful in reaching their life goals.
You can help your teen learn to deal with loneliness with these tips:
- Talk to your teen about loneliness. Use your child’s life experiences to help them understand that loneliness is normal and it doesn’t last forever. For example, if they are headed to summer camp for a week, explain that they will probably feel lonely at first, and that’s okay, but by the end of the week, they will have made new friends. Then use the opportunity to help them think of healthy things they can do to make themselves feel better when they are lonely.
- Explain that being alone is not the same as being lonely. To be a healthy person, we need to be comfortable in our own skin, and you can never really discover who you are, if you are constantly surrounded by other people. If we never experience aloneness, our relationships will likely become very dependent. Encourage your teen to engage in positive alone-time activities. Reading, drawing, journaling, exercising, crafting, hobbies, and listening to music are activities that your teen can enjoy by themselves without feeling lonely.
- Connect with family and friends. Calling a friend and inviting them to do something is a learned skill. Encourage your child to ask someone over to watch a movie or play a video game, schedule a regular date with a family member, or invite someone to take a class with them. This will provide your teen with practice at connecting with others.
- Help your teen learn to broaden his/her horizons. Show your teen all that is offered in your community. Help your teen consider what their passions might be and explore possible classes, clubs, sports, or organizations that support their interests. Joining a group that has the same interests automatically provides a sense of belonging and well-being. This tip also provides you a chance to teach another life skill… teaching teens how to find resources in the community helps them to be prepared to do the same thing in their adult lives.
- Adopt healthy habits. Studies show that there is a strong connection between the mind and body, so adopting healthy habits, such as a nutritious diet and eight hours of sleep, actually improve our mental health. Additionally, heavy users of social media are more prone to depression and low self-esteem. As a parent, you should emphasize a healthy balance. Yes, your teen can use social media, but they should also spend time hanging out in person with friends, exercising, doing homework, and participating in extracurricular activities.
- Encourage service. There are a number of benefits your child will receive by volunteering their time to those less fortunate. They will feel good about themselves and the experience will bring more meaning to their life. They will realize that they really are one of the more fortunate people in the world which increases their own sense of gratitude for what they have. Even better, service organizations attract the kind of people who have the potential for becoming great friends – your teen will meet others, be part of a group, and engage in new experiences. It has the added bonus of looking great on a resume or college application. Possibilities include animal shelters, soup kitchens, park clean-ups, churches, senior centers, hospitals, or local political offices and civic organizations.
Final Thoughts…
Teaching your child coping skills for loneliness now will help them to be successful and make healthy choices when they confront loneliness as an adult.