Integrity is when our conduct is aligned with our values and beliefs. What we do, say and even condone with our silence must match what we believe is right and moral. Our culture doesn’t always encourage integrity; in fact, some of our media almost seems to celebrate dishonesty and hypocrisy. But it’s a very valuable attribute, especially in successful adults.
Benefits of Integrity
While it’s not always easy to live with integrity, there are many benefits to acting with honesty, consistency and strong moral principles.
- Mental peace and lower stress
- Trusting and close relationships
- Increased confidence and self-esteem
- Improved decision-making
- Professional success and excellent reputation
10 Ways to Instill Integrity in Youth
The messages you give your teenager have a big impact on their decisions and behaviors. If you want to encourage your teen to avoid compromising their values, then you will have to counter messages from culture. You must work to instill integrity in your teen in the following ways:
- Role model. Teens learn far more from watching your actions than listening to your words. Be honest. Admit your mistakes. Respect others. Don’t cheat or steal. Do things the right way instead of the easy way.
- Discuss values. Talk about what traits and behaviors are important to you and ask your teen many open-ended questions that help them identify their own values. What makes a good friend? How do you know when to trust someone? Who do you admire and why? How do you want to be remembered? What makes you feel fulfilled? Always remember that a teen’s values might be different than yours, and you want them to align their behavior with their own values, not yours.
- Create a family honor code. Schools have honor codes for a reason – they clearly define behaviors that are important and expected. Parents can work together with their children to decide what values matter most in your home. Encourage accountability so that everyone is working to conduct themselves in ways that match the honor code.
- Always praise effort over results. Celebrate a hard-fought C more than an easy-to-get A. Express more interest in what your teen is learning, than in what grades they are earning. And perhaps most importantly, praise ethical or kind behavior over academic performance.
- Discuss ethical dilemmas. Use current events, tv shows, or personal experiences to open conversations about values with youth. This gives you’re the opportunity to acknowledge complex issues, and introduce difficult decision-making by transparently talking about weighing pros and cons and balancing competing ideas or values.
- Promote empathy. The ability to understand the feelings of another and see things from someone else’s perspective is a vital life skill, and one that can be improved with practice. Use every opportunity in your daily life to guide youth in thinking about how different situations look and/or feel from another person’s point of view.
- Encourage accountability. Expect your teen to take ownership of their decisions, both good and bad. Avoid rescuing them from the consequences of their actions.
- Challenge unethical behavior. If your teen is spreading gossip, lying or stealing, ask them to consider their actions. Is this the type of person they want to be? What would they think if they saw someone else doing the same thing? Are these actions aligned with their values?
- Reinforce assertiveness. If you want to raise a teen who can advocate for their values, then reinforce assertiveness rather than compliance. Encourage your teen to share their opinions and stand up for what they believe is right.
- Praise positive behavior. Notice small moments when your teen acts with integrity. Youth tend to repeat behaviors that get attention.