Research published last month in the Journal of Psychopathology and Clinical Science found that almost 1 in 4 teens, or 23.5% of children ages 13 through 18, used dating apps over a six-month period, which is more than past estimates. In the past, researchers have relied on self-reports from youth to determine the amount of usage, but this study tracked how teens use dating apps by recording their keyboard activity.
This might seem surprising. Adults tend to use dating apps because they find it hard to meet others when working full time, but teenagers are around their peers most of the time through school and extracurricular activities. Parents tend to think their children would never use a dating app or go meet a stranger they only know online, but teens are prone to taking risks and trying new things and might surprise you, so it’s important to be aware of the risks.
Teens use dating apps for a wide range of reasons beyond finding a romantic partner, including entertainment, exploration of their identity, and online socialization. Many of today’s youth struggle with social anxiety, so connecting with people online can feel safer. A shy teen might feel more comfortable getting to know someone online over time before actually connecting in real life. The anonymity and wide breadth of choice that dating apps have can provide teens a less constrained way to explore their identity. Finally, some teens may use dating apps because the platforms advertise they have algorithms that can match people with their soulmates which can sound very appealing to a young person.
What type of dating apps are teens using?
Instagram and TikTok have both added features to their platforms that allow online connection similar to dating apps, so it’s possible for teens to simply be using their favorite social media apps to find a romantic partner. That said, almost a quarter of teens are using dedicated dating apps. Common ones to look for on your teen’s phone include Yubo, MyLOL, Hoop, MeetMe, Peeps, Purp, Skout and Hot or Not.
What are the risks to teens using dating apps?
Adolescents navigating any digital platforms may encounter risks such as exposure to inappropriate content, cyberbullying, and the potential for exploitation. Specific dangers related to dating apps that parents need to know include:
- Predators. Dating apps are a prime place for predators to find teens. Age verifications are generally easy to bypass, and the online platform allows people to present themselves as someone they are not. It’s common knowledge that registered sex offenders use dating apps.
- Exploitation. Dating apps are an easy way for adults to groom children and to target them for sexploitation (convincing a teen to share an intimate image, which can then be used for financial extortion) and catfishing (manipulating a teen into an emotional relationship with someone using an assumed identity).
- Explicit content. Even if your teen is connecting only with users their own age, dating sites can still easily expose them to explicit content.
- Sexting. All of the dating apps offer messaging, which can lead teens to have explicit online conversations.
- Privacy concerns. Dating app profiles ask users for a lot of personal information, but are also known for poor security and selling users’ data.
How do Parents Keep Their Teens Safe Online?
With so many risk factors, you might wonder how you can protect your children when it comes to social media, dating apps, and other online platforms. Here are some important tips:
Talk to your Teen. While your teen might not be using dating apps now, there’s still a good chance they might choose to later, even as a young adult. It’s better to talk to them about how to stay safe on these apps now so that they’re prepared if they ever do use them. Let them know that they can come talk to you anytime, and then do your best to always listen to them without judgment if and when they do talk to you. If they feel embarrassed talking to you, ensure they have another trusted adult who can help them.
When you’re talking to your teenager about dating apps, or really any online social platform, here are some key topics to cover:
- Remind your teen they don’t have to talk to people who make them feel uncomfortable, and they can block and/or report them. Show them how to file a report. They can also unfollow anyone that makes them feel bad about themselves or their life or delete comments that are critical.
- Remind your teen to approach new contacts with skepticism. It’s easy to set up a fake account on social media to hide your age or masquerade as someone else. Even if the person hasn’t lied about their identity, their photo could be heavily filtered and be misleading.
- Remind your teen to avoid sharing any personal information, including their age, surname, locations, school, neighborhood, family dynamics, and other identifying factors. The more details your teen posts online about their private life, the easier it is for someone to use that information to manipulate them.
- Be clear about the danger of sexting and explicit photos. You can read our previous blog, How to Talk to Teens About Sexting.
- Talk to your teen about scams and ways that people will try to manipulate them to give them their information such as passports, insurance numbers, credit card numbers, etc. Tell them never to send money to an online friend unless they discuss it with you first and you confirm it’s not a scam and you feel like it’s okay to send.
Set Safety Rules. As you have these conversations, remind them that you want to help them make healthy, safe choices. As a result, there are some ground rules you must establish for your teen’s protection. If they want to meet with someone they met online in real-life, they must follow these steps:
- Your teen should video chat with people before meeting up in person to confirm that they appear to be who they say they are.
- If the video chat seems to go okay, your teen should only agree to a meeting if it’s in a public place or if they taking a friend or family member with them.
- Even once they have met, your teen shouldn’t be alone with that person until they have built more trust.
Final Thoughts…
You should frequently remind your teen about how to use social media safely and responsibly. Be sure to explain the risk of people lying about who they truly are online. If you do not want your teen to use dating apps, you should be clear about what is out of bounds. Perhaps even more importantly, you should talk to your teen about how to approach dating and how to create healthy, fulfilling relationships. If you need ideas, read our previous blog Teen Dating 101.