Celebrity adoration among tweens and teens is a pretty natural part of growing up. During adolescence, youth are trying to develop their own identity, so they actively seek out role models and media figures for cues on how to look and act. Youth are attracted to celebrities because they lead exciting lifestyles, are talented, and have stylists that make them look great – what’s not to love? Celebrity adoration is generally not harmful, and in some cases, celebrities can offer positive examples of overcoming challenges or achieving one’s dreams. Of course, on the other hand, problems can creep in when your child’s favorite celebrity behaves badly.
Celebrities such as Justin Bieber, Drake, and Cardi B post pictures of themselves drinking and getting high on a variety of social media platforms. Other famous people have been accused of rape, domestic violence, reckless driving, fraud, and more. When these types of things happen, your child might have two very different reactions. They might feel disappointed, cynical or disillusioned by their idol’s poor behavior. Or they might still adore their idol and think their behavior is acceptable, glamorous, or worth copying.
What Should Parents Do When Scandals Hit?
If your child’s favorite celebrity is in the news for less than desirable behavior, don’t ignore it. Use the situation as an opportunity to have an open conversation. When you talk about this type of situation, you want to really focus on asking your teen’s opinion, listening without judgment, and avoiding lectures. You might start the conversation by saying, “I saw the news about CelebrityX. What do you think about that?”
Listen closely to your teen’s opinions, and respond appropriately to their concerns without putting down the celebrity. For example, if your teen is disappointed in the celebrity, you might say, “Celebrities are only human and will make their own share of mistakes. They are still very talented, and I hope they will learn from this mistake and make better choices in the future.”
On the other hand, if they seem to idolize the celebrity’s poor behavior, you might need to reinforce your family’s values. For example, if their celebrity was using drugs, you might say, “Being in the public eye puts a lot of pressure on people, and some may turn to drug use because they think it will relieve that stress. But when a person uses drugs and alcohol — especially a young person who’s still growing — it changes how their brain works and they make poor decisions. Most people who use drugs and alcohol need a lot of help to get better. I hope CelebrityX has a good doctor and friends and family members to help them through this.”
How Should Parents Prevent Celebrity Obsession?
As children enter adolescence, it’s a good idea to have frequent conversations about the effects of media on our culture, environment, and opinions. It’s important that youth know that all online content is edited, designed and not real. Talk to your children about how celebrities have stylists to make them look amazing and publicists who are posting for them. Adolescents should be able to distinguish the difference between real facts and images and fabricated information and photoshopped pictures.
Use any news or social media to open up conversations on all sorts of controversial topics. You want to raise your child to be a critical thinker, so welcome any opportunity to discuss their thoughts and opinions. Even if you disagree with your child, avoid criticism. For example, you might say, “Huh, that’s a different way of thinking about that issue. Thank you for sharing that with me. I had a different thought…” and then explain your opinion or values.
Additional Tips to Combat the Influence of Media on Youth
- Use current events to expose your children to stories and images of people you perceive are healthy role models. Point out any instances of good sportsmanship or generosity.
- Discuss the difference between a celebrity and a hero. Someone can be very talented (and appropriately applauded for that talent) but not be a great person. We can appreciate someone’s talents without necessarily admiring activities they engage in during their personal time.
- Help children separate reality from fantasy. Watch shows or movies with them and ask lots of questions to reinforce the distinction between the two. Remember to include advertising in your discussions, as those messages are especially powerful. Talk to your teen about the unrealistic nature of many social media posts, noting that many photographs are altered and that many posts are exaggerated and filtered so that we are only seeing a positive view of their life, not any of the difficulties they face.
- Make sure that you child knows your values and establish house rules that reinforce those values.
- Identify, notice, and compliment your child for their individual strengths. Focus on their unique qualities over any results they may or may not achieve.
- Be involved in your child’s life. Know their friends. Ask about their teachers. Attend their games or events.
- Teach youth healthy ways to deal with stress and uncomfortable feelings. Ideas include creative activities (drawing, dancing, playing music, etc), exercise, journaling, reading, and relaxation techniques (such as deep breathing or mindfulness).
- Show interest in what your teen likes and support your teen when you can, such as taking them to a concert or sports game.
- Encourage interests that are not media-related. Do other fun things together – go shopping, hike outside, play sports, go to the movies, visit with friends, grab an ice cream cone, or anything else that gets your teen to be present for real life. The key is to find an activity that your specific teen really loves that also gets them away from their screens for awhile.